Or at least it's trying to. I admit it- I'm a little sucked in to Facebook. It has been a super easy and slick way to stay in touch with friends and family, and I really enjoy it. It is, however, a bit like the fast food of the internet... a quick fix certainly fills you up, but it is far from a gourmet meal you can savor. The other day I read my friend Genny's blog, which talked about her regrets over having not blogged or otherwise journalled certain life events and it made me think. Dammit, I am not gonna let that happen to me. What I am experiencing now is too heightened, too terrifying and exhilarating and precious to let it fade into memory's abyss. I must get back on the blogging horse, even if it means I do that instead of sleeping. (What's the difference between 4 hours of sleep and 4 hours 15 minutes, really?)
The only problem is, I feel a certain obligation for my blogs to be somewhat interesting, or compelling, or at a bare minimum amusing, and I'm just not sure I have that right now. Blogs are meant to be read, right? Otherwise it is just kind of an online diary, and that's not what I want. My life is so chaotic and disjointed right now, and I am terrified that people in the real world are going to catch on to that by reading my blog. If there is one thing this control freak fears, it's other people sensing her loss of control. So that's part of what has kept me from writing too.
Thankfully, things are starting to come together. I am getting comfortable, in a strange way, living with these 2 little hand grenades, and I am no longer just waiting for one of them to explode at every moment.
So if anyone is still out there, bear with me. There may be a few posts that sound like I wrote them a month ago (I did!) and there may be a few that sound like they are written through a sleep deprived haze (they are!) but hopefully I will get back on track, because Facebook is not satisfying my need for a fix anymore.
Ow! Mom, she's hitting me!
Saturday Morning with the family