Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Bloaty and the Beast

 I never thought I would say this during pregnancy, but my stomach has actually gotten smaller, and I am feeling very happy about it. I was puffed up like a Macy's Day Parade balloon, under my bellybutton. I couldn't even see my toes. At first it was a little satisfying, getting big so fast, but I looked it up (you know me and research...) only to confirm that that bump had nothing to do with babies and that Dearest and I had been affectionately stroking retained water for the past 4 weeks. Anyway, the tide has started to go out and my upper belly is flattening out, to reveal a bump, much more likely to be baby related, above my pubic bone. Just a small bump, mind you, but I'm ok with that.

This book I am reading is all about carrying multiples to term and especially about the role nutrition plays in growing big, healthy, multiples. Lots of food for thought (so to speak), some of it a little alarming. The doctor who wrote the book recommends that a mom who starts a pregnancy with twins underweight (I'm 5'5" and was 108 when we conceived) eat 3500 calories a day and gain 25 lbs. by 20 weeks of pregnancy. Let's do the math here for a moment. Firstly, do you have ANY earthly idea how much 3500 calories IS? DEAR GOD! The night I read that part of the book, I wrote down everything I had eaten that day, looked up calorie values, and discovered that I eat about 1700 calories per day. That's not even HALF of what this lady wants me to eat. I put a lot of effort into the next few days, eating as much as I could, buying Ensure and drinking one of those every day, etc, and got up to 2200 calories. Still WAY short. Grr. And 25 POUNDS? WHAT? I will be 12 weeks Thursday and I have gained 3 pounds. 3. So...I have 22 to go in 8 weeks. Um... that's like 3 pounds a day. I don't even eat 3 pounds of food a day, so even if I never pooped between now and Thanksgiving, I still wouldn't make it.

But I WANT big, healthy babies. I would do anything to get them big and strong. I am just not sure how possible her goals are for someone like me who is not a huge eater to begin with whose favorite foods (rare beef, soft cheeses, cold cuts, corn dogs) are now all FORBIDDEN because of the pregnancy. Anybody out there have good advice on how to reach 3500 calories a day? Especially advice that includes Oreos?

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Ho-Hum

So, yeah, I stayed home. I'm not sure if it was the right move or not, I definitely do not feel up to snuff, mainly this sore throat, and I get a little woozy if I am on my feet for too long, but on the scale of 1-10 it's about a 3 and a half. I hate to waste precious sick days, and I keep thinking to myself that I could have made it through today, and tomorrow is Friday and then I could have had the weekend to recoup, but hopefully giving myself a chance to heal up without the barrage of new germs will be the way to go.

Also I have had this occasional stabbing... not really pain... pressure? above my pubic bone, which has me wondering. UTI? Certainly not unheard of for me. Very early contractions? Pretty common, even in the first trimester, from what I've read. Something else? Nothing? Tough to say. I guess if it stays the same (I sure notice it more when I'm on the couch than when I'm working, but I don't think it changes that much) I will ask the Doc about it on the 13th. I was thinking about going to doc-in-a-box to get it checked, but I'll pass for now. 

Anyway, no real news here again, just counting the days until the next ultrasound. 18 if you were wondering.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Could be worse...

I have a cold. Not a really bad cold, just a mild one so far, but it is not cool. I left sub plans for tomorrow on my desk, but I hate to call in for a small cold. I have to admit though, by the end of the day today I was ultra wiped out, even more than usual. I stuck it out, but I do not really want to push it and make myself worse. Hopefully when I wake up tomorrow it will be evident whether going in is the right thing to do. I don't really feel contagious, I never had a fever or anything, but with all the bugs I am exposed to, I hate to risk spreading it to the kids or picking up something worse because my immune system is shot.

Other than that, not a lot to report. Seems like the puking was the grand finale to my evening sickness, because that was the end of it, really. I am trying not to read to much into that, but you know me. I'm worrying again. 18 days seems like an eternity until the next ultrasound. Sis and I talked about those joints where you can buy 15 minutes of ultrasound time for like $100, and I have to admit it's tempting. Of course it's just recreational, not diagnostic, but I would sure feel better seeing those little hearts beating. Maybe when my folks are here. We'll see.
 
Happy to say that I will be 11w tomorrow. This first trimester is simultaneously flying by and dragging on. I won't really feel like I have graduated until my 13w ultrasound. Sorry for the boring post, but just wanted to say that I'm still here and no news is good news. 

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Please Pass the Sno-Bol

Nothing like getting your face really really close to your toilet to discover just how filthy it is. Eew. Well, that was me Thursday night. I had been so proud of myself, too. I was feeling really good Thursday, exhausted of course, but still, I had a little more of my energy during the day and I was so excited thinking about how close I am to the end of this trimester. And then.

I'm not sure if it was taking vitamins right before bed or what, but when I laid down at 9:00, I knew I was in trouble. Dearest knew it too, he could tell from my face, but I was determined to muscle through it and fall asleep, hoping I would be right as rain when I woke up. Not to be. I wound up praying to the porcelain god (for the first time this pregnancy) at about 9:04. Yucky. I sent Dan a text (modern equivalent of ringing a bell) and he came up. Of course I was a teary, sniffling, self-pitying mess, but he was so sweet, rubbing my back and asking if he could get me anything. He's great. It is only the second time in our nearly 6 year relationship that I have thrown up. The first time I was in the hospital so he was spared witnessing it.

Something about not feeling good in this pregnancy really makes me want my mom. I guess it's just one of those things...I'm pregnant and freaked out and usually so very healthy, and I just don't know HOW to feel miserable all of the time. Feeling so rotten the other night, I wanted to be curled up on the couch under that brown and orange crocheted blanket that we had when I was little, with Sesame Street on the TV and some 7-Up with a straw in it by my side, and my mom coming in every few minutes to check on me. I suppose the truth is this...I'm embarrassed by feeling rotten. I know Dearest is not going to pass judgement, but I want so badly for this to be a breeze, to walk away from it and say, "I was pregnant with twins and it was no problem!" Throwing up made me feel defeated. That's what brought on the tears more than anything. I felt like I lost, and I wanted my mom.

Sounds like a whiny little kid, doesn't it? And I'm about to be the mom in this household? How is that possible?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The Kids are All Right

As per usual, my panic and dread was for no good reason. I have been cut off from reading negative things on the internet by the people who love me the most, all of whom saw me sliding into a hormone and stress induced depression last week and who intervened with a care-frontation of the first degree, in which they took turns calling me and speaking of the evils of the internet. Thanks guys. Whenever I have the urge to search for whatever I fear might be wrong with the babies now, I re direct to search for something more cheerful. Like puppies. So far it's working ok.

The appointment today went pretty well. It was great to see the babies on the big screen (they have about a 52" monitor, it's crazy after squinting to make out little jellybeans at the RE's office). I can not believe how much they look like... babies. For real. And how much they were moving! Baby A especially- that little guy was dancin' all over the place! (Hopefully they will be a better dancer than me, I am positively the worst.) Baby B was moving too, it looked like s/he was putting it's little hand in its mouth. How is it possible that I can not FEEL that? The most hysterical part was when we had them both on the screen, we were talking about Baby B and Baby A (I am not making this up) turned right toward the camera and WAVED. The ultrasound tech was like, "Did you see that? A is trying to get out attention down there!" We were all laughing, and it felt so good. To be looking at our babies and laughing.

The Dr. seemed pretty cool (young!?! or I am getting old?) and said things look great. Baby A measured 10w1d with a heart rate of 167, baby B was 9w5d with a heart rate of 176. I am 9w5d today, so B was right on track and A was a little ahead! She did have one small concern, I have a small subchorionic hematoma, in layman's terms a small blood clot on the periphery of Baby B's placenta. She said it is not uncommon, just something to watch to be sure it shrinks instead of grows. She said usually they heal themselves. Still. Also we talked to her about delivering at the reputable Win.nie Pal.mer hospital here in town, and her reaction was not what I expected. Part of the reason we changed ob's is that we wanted to deliver there--they have a crazy amazing NICU and they deliver like 50 babies there a day. It is supposed to be top-notch. She agreed it can be, but warned us that if you are anything other than VERY high risk to forget it. They have so many urgent cases there that if you are not in NEED of their services, you are pretty well brushed aside. I totally understood what she was saying, but I was really surprised. Our friends who had babies there all had amazing experiences. Then again, they were all very high risk. Hmm. Even MORE food for thought is what she said about working. I explained to her what I do and that I am on my feet pretty much all day. She said she would expect for me to call it quits around week 20. WHAT? Not that she is demanding it, just that with my small frame, she thinks I will be very uncomfortable and probably start contracting around that time, and that in her experience I will probably be ready to be off my feet. I expected her to say 28 weeks, I was hoping to make it through Christmas break. She said push for Thanksgiving and see how you feel. Of course the financial ramifications of this concept are very troubling, especially because I carry the insurance through my employer and was hoping to cling to it for
 as long as possible. Eek.

What? Enough boring talk? You want to see pictures? Well...ok. Just because I like ya.



Baby A. Um...upside down, head is to the left. Child would not hold still long enough to get a great shot.







Here's B, just chillin'. See its little hand?









The 2 of them, when A (on the bottom) was waving. So cute!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Used Parks Flo Lab 2100 Vascular Doppler Machine
Used Parks Flo Lab 2100 Vascular Doppler Machine

Look! It's on eBay! Buy It Now of only $5500! Who loves me enough to buy it for me?

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Ouch...

I don't know if I can stand waiting 5 more days for my OB appointment. This is the highest form of torture. I have considered going to the office with a mask on and demanding an ultrasound at gunpoint. Or maybe I could rob them of the whole machine. Think I'd make the news? 

The thing is this. I've been having these... abdominal pains. I'm trying not to over think it, which for me means I only think about it like 22.5 hours a day. I also have tried not to consult dr. google, and failed miserably at that as well. I had myself worked up into a good panicky lather this afternoon when sis called and told me I should look up round ligament pain. I did and gosh that is really what it sounds like... the ligaments holding up my uterus are stretching out and causing my discomfort. I guess it usually happens in the second trimester, but my body seems to be in overdrive, so it figures it might happen early. The cure: stay off your feet. HA! 

School is going pretty well, the kids are such a different dynamic from last year it is hard to believe. I am really blessed with a great bunch. Not that some of my kids last year were not great, it was just a very different... vibe. I was a lot different too, there is no denying that I am much more confident (and competent) this year, and I know the kids sense it. 

I was looking at that widget on the side, and thinking how much the babes have changed in just the last week. They don't have tails anymore! They have eyelids and earlobes! And they are starting to look like real human beings. Please, little ones, please be happy and healthy when we see you Tuesday!

Well, I am going to climb in the hot tub (turned down to a balmy 94 degrees, don't you worry) and try to soak my pain and stress away. 

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Yays and Nays

The babies do not approve of:
-Chicken
-The smell of meat cooking
-The smell of fast food 
-Temperatures over 75 degrees
-Food of any sort after 4 pm
-Places other than the couch
-My bladder

The babies approve of:
-Malt-o-Meal  (Ain't heard of it? Then you ain't from the mid west! Mmm malty goodness...)

So thanks to my friend D who bought me a box (where did she find it?) of Malt-o-Meal like 2 years ago, and thanks to me for having it in the back of the pantry and digging for it this morning because it was the only thing that would do.
Malt-O-Meal, Original, 28 oz box

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Kickin' back at the 7-11

Well, yesterday found me in a situation I never really thought I would see.

I was chillin out in front of the 7-11.

I never considered myself the hangin at the 7-11 type. I might be the buy some gas at the 7-11 type. Or once in a blue moon the buy a slurpee at the 7-11 type. But I was pretty firmly the sneer at people who hang out in front of the 7-11 type. No longer.

See, what happened was this. My truck was making this noise. Kinda a chugga-chugga-whoosha-chugga noise. That's been going on for about a week. I didn't panic over it, but there was no denying a noise happening. So I was driving home from the chiropractor, thinking I would be home and on my couch early, and boy was I tired so that sounded great. I stopped at a light. First, my a/c went out, which in Florida in the summer is enough to make you want to ditch the car and hitchhike right there. I called my friend Kel, and as I was talking to her, black stinky smoke started coming out from under the hood. She said to pull over and she would send her hubby with the tow truck, so I did what seemed logical, I pulled into the 7-11.

Firstly, I was semi-mortified to be pulling into the station with my truck apparently ablaze and so so smelly. I jumped out and tried to pretend like it was not mine. There were some stares from the other people hangin out in front of the 7-11. Shit shit shit. I went in the store. I walked around. The lady at the counter (previously a hanger outer) asked me was that my truck because boy it was sure smelling like something was wrong. I admitted it was mine and told her a tow truck was on the way. "Good," she said, "because that thing really smells." Joy.

I went back outside. Here is where the chillin began. I chilled for a while, tried to act natural, leaned against the propane exchange cage. Considered what I would say if the parents of someone in my class showed up. Avoided eye contact. But it just was not working  for me. Suddenly I realized: I am kickin back in front of the 7-11. And I'm not even doing it right. Where is my 40 oz. and Camel Light? What is wrong with me?

So I went back in. And it occurred to me that I CAN'T have a Mad Dog and a smoke, I am pregnant. Although pregnant, smoking, and chillin at the 7-11 would have won the award. So I looked around for an alternative: beef jerky and a mountain dew? pre-packaged bake good and coffee? doritos and slurpee? Nothing felt right. I reluctantly grabbed a bottle of water and some chips. Boring. But you can't hang empty handed.

Back outside, I was really getting into it. I said "Whatsup" to everyone walking up, including the police officers. I sat down on the curb and looked at the pieces hanging under my car that weren't there before. And finally, I took a picture of myself:
Because odds of me ever kickin back in front of the 7-11 again are pretty low. 

The story has a happy ending: Kel's hubby arrived with his tow truck (he may as well have ridden in on a white horse) and Kel took me home. But I promise, I will never sneer at those who are hanging  out in front of the 7-11 again. They may just be a pregnant Kindergarten teacher who happens to like beef jerky who is just having "one of those days."