Saturday, October 25, 2008

Their Idea of Perfect

I read everybody's pregnancy-annoyance horror stories, and came to the conclusion that I am above it all. People touching the belly? Doesn't faze me. Commenting on my growing girth? Ain't it cute? Asking me if twins run in the family? I reply with a simple "nope" even though I know what they are getting at. Telling me twin pregnancy, labor, infancy stories with glum endings? Can't get me there- already read all that on the internet.

But the masses have come up with something that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I was blind-sided the first time it happened. And it has happened no less than a dozen times since.

Here comes the part where I sound really irrational.

People (could be the custodian at school, or the waiter at a restaurant, or even a casual friend) say "Oh, you are expecting? How exciting!" and of course I tell them that we are having twins. And, naturally, they ask if we know the gender yet. And I reply that it won't be long, probably in November. And they say "Oh, if it is one of each, that would be so PERFECT!!!" or "If you get a boy and a girl, you would have the PERFECT little family!!!!!"  

And something about that really bothers me.

Because, if I am having two sons, is that somehow less than perfect? I mean, I understand their point I guess, their desire for a genderly-balanced family (yes, I just made up that word, so what?), but I really don't feel that drive. I feel like my family is going to be perfect even if I have 14 sons or (gulp) 2 little girls. I understand people do gender-selection of embryos, we could have done it to for about $4K more, but I am SO UNSPEAKABLY grateful to have 2 beautiful, healthy fetuses (feti?) that I can't possibly think that things will be less than PERFECT if they are of the same gender. 

Dearest thinks I am over the top in my sensitivity about this subject, especially considering that I have NOT been bothered by most other things people say, and I'm sure he just chalks it up to hormones or something, and maybe a little part of him agrees that one of each would be just grand. But now I am riddled with this complex that I will somehow be letting everyone else down if we are carrying something other than a boy and a girl, and if they are the same gender, I am going to be watching people's reactions too closely when I tell them "two boys" or (gulp) "two girls." 

Good thing I am not a perfectionist. 

1 comment:

gd said...

No way, that's not irrational. When my friend told a co-worker she was having a girl, the co-worker tutted and said "Oh, I'm sorry...girls are so much more trouble."

Maybe, but...the hell?? I don't understand the lack of "Whatever it is, it's going to be wonderful" attitude.

(Also, if you had a boy and a girl, balanced though it may be, you totally couldn't dress them up as Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield, Sweet Valley Twins.)