I wouldn’t call it nesting. I would call it Holy-Shit-There-is-so-Much-Stuff-I-Have-Not-Done-in-my-Life-That-Now-I-May-Never-Get-To-Do! Such as clean out the dryer vent and properly categorize my iTunes and wrestle an alligator and learn how to play the trombone! Also my MOTHER is coming here in a week and I must demonstrate to her by my high level of cleanliness and excessive organization that I am worthy of indoctrination into the Motherhood Society. Also there are so many things that I want to teach my daughters, such as how to speak Italian and change a serpentine belt and I HAVE NOT HAD TIME TO LEARN THESE THINGS, SO HOW CAN I BE EXPECTED TO TEACH THEM??? God, I am a terrible mother already.
You call it nesting. I call it panic attack.
The delivery is, inevitably, drawing nigh. I can truthfully say that I am not afraid. I don’t know why, it is probably going to be the biggest day of my life, and of course I want the babies to be healthy and my surgery to go off without a hitch, but for some reason I am not afraid. Granted, I am not afraid of medical stuff at all really, and I am also good in a crisis, although I tend to scream into my pillow after the dust settles. I am a bit leery of the recovery on top of the whole keeping two newborns alive SIMULTANEOUSLY but I will have lots of help from Dearest and Mom and Mom-in-law, so I’m sure I will muddle through.
I know I am supposed to have crazy freaky parenting dreams at this point as well, but I’m not. Truthfully, I am having some stress dreams, but my stress dreams were ALWAYS about school until I became a teacher and now they are ALWAYS about teaching. Odd. So lately I have had some dreams about going back to teach and my students being totally off-the-wall and impossible to get under control, and in one dream I even grabbed a kid’s arm and squeezed it and left a mark and in the dream I was like “Wonderful. Now I am going to totally get fired and have no insurance.” So I guess that’s where my very practical subconscious it at.
Still feeling pretty good, but it is a little alarming that everywhere I go people start boiling water and tearing up sheets and quoting Gone With the Wind the moment I walk in. Oh well.
Anyway, I know this is a short post, but that’s what I’ve got. Tomorrow we go to Winnie Palmer for another growth scan of the darlings, and I’m sure I will post a full report.
For now, I am off to practice the trombone and alphabetically arrange the canned goods.