Sunday, March 15, 2009

To-Do This Week

I wouldn’t call it nesting. I would call it Holy-Shit-There-is-so-Much-Stuff-I-Have-Not-Done-in-my-Life-That-Now-I-May-Never-Get-To-Do! Such as clean out the dryer vent and properly categorize my iTunes and wrestle an alligator and learn how to play the trombone! Also my MOTHER is coming here in a week and I must demonstrate to her by my high level of cleanliness and excessive organization that I am worthy of indoctrination into the Motherhood Society. Also there are so many things that I want to teach my daughters, such as how to speak Italian and change a serpentine belt and I HAVE NOT HAD TIME TO LEARN THESE THINGS, SO HOW CAN I BE EXPECTED TO TEACH THEM??? God, I am a terrible mother already.

You call it nesting. I call it panic attack.

The delivery is, inevitably, drawing nigh. I can truthfully say that I am not afraid. I don’t know why, it is probably going to be the biggest day of my life, and of course I want the babies to be healthy and my surgery to go off without a hitch, but for some reason I am not afraid. Granted, I am not afraid of medical stuff at all really, and I am also good in a crisis, although I tend to scream into my pillow after the dust settles. I am a bit leery of the recovery on top of the whole keeping two newborns alive SIMULTANEOUSLY but I will have lots of help from Dearest and Mom and Mom-in-law, so I’m sure I will muddle through.

I know I am supposed to have crazy freaky parenting dreams at this point as well, but I’m not. Truthfully, I am having some stress dreams, but my stress dreams were ALWAYS about school until I became a teacher and now they are ALWAYS about teaching. Odd. So lately I have had some dreams about going back to teach and my students being totally off-the-wall and impossible to get under control, and in one dream I even grabbed a kid’s arm and squeezed it and left a mark and in the dream I was like “Wonderful. Now I am going to totally get fired and have no insurance.” So I guess that’s where my very practical subconscious it at.

Still feeling pretty good, but it is a little alarming that everywhere I go people start boiling water and tearing up sheets and quoting Gone With the Wind the moment I walk in. Oh well.

Anyway, I know this is a short post, but that’s what I’ve got. Tomorrow we go to Winnie Palmer for another growth scan of the darlings, and I’m sure I will post a full report.

For now, I am off to practice the trombone and alphabetically arrange the canned goods.

1 comment:

gd said...

I hadn't even thought about this instinct, to get everything in while you can...and it can't help that everyone's yelling at you from all sides "YOU WILL NOT HAVE FREE TIME FOR 18 YEARS! BUT OF COURSE IT IS ALL WORTH IT!"

(For what it's worth, I am really really really excited for you!)

p.s. "Lawzy, we got to have a doctor. I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies."
(sorry, but I kinda had to.)

p.p.s. Word verification: doniste. Lame.