Bloaty and the Beast

 I never thought I would say this during pregnancy, but my stomach has actually gotten smaller, and I am feeling very happy about it. I was puffed up like a Macy's Day Parade balloon, under my bellybutton. I couldn't even see my toes. At first it was a little satisfying, getting big so fast, but I looked it up (you know me and research...) only to confirm that that bump had nothing to do with babies and that Dearest and I had been affectionately stroking retained water for the past 4 weeks. Anyway, the tide has started to go out and my upper belly is flattening out, to reveal a bump, much more likely to be baby related, above my pubic bone. Just a small bump, mind you, but I'm ok with that.

This book I am reading is all about carrying multiples to term and especially about the role nutrition plays in growing big, healthy, multiples. Lots of food for thought (so to speak), some of it a little alarming. The doctor who wrote the book recommends that a mom who starts a pregnancy with twins underweight (I'm 5'5" and was 108 when we conceived) eat 3500 calories a day and gain 25 lbs. by 20 weeks of pregnancy. Let's do the math here for a moment. Firstly, do you have ANY earthly idea how much 3500 calories IS? DEAR GOD! The night I read that part of the book, I wrote down everything I had eaten that day, looked up calorie values, and discovered that I eat about 1700 calories per day. That's not even HALF of what this lady wants me to eat. I put a lot of effort into the next few days, eating as much as I could, buying Ensure and drinking one of those every day, etc, and got up to 2200 calories. Still WAY short. Grr. And 25 POUNDS? WHAT? I will be 12 weeks Thursday and I have gained 3 pounds. 3. So...I have 22 to go in 8 weeks. Um... that's like 3 pounds a day. I don't even eat 3 pounds of food a day, so even if I never pooped between now and Thanksgiving, I still wouldn't make it.

But I WANT big, healthy babies. I would do anything to get them big and strong. I am just not sure how possible her goals are for someone like me who is not a huge eater to begin with whose favorite foods (rare beef, soft cheeses, cold cuts, corn dogs) are now all FORBIDDEN because of the pregnancy. Anybody out there have good advice on how to reach 3500 calories a day? Especially advice that includes Oreos?